| Dear... |
[07 Jun 2006|05:37pm] |
WOMEN just because it is summer, it does not mean you can walk around wearing next to nothing. Bikinis are for sunbathing on the beach in, or going swimming. You will cause accidents by wearing bikinis when you are walking down a road with cars on.
I walked past a girl in town wearing fuck all today, and she looked all snotty at me as if to say "what are you looking at?"
YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT WEARING VERY MUCH AND TO BE SURPRISED THAT MEN ARE LOOKING AT YOUR LARGE MAMMARIES, INTRIGUING CURVES, AND VAST EXPANSES OF FLESH IS TO FUNDAMENTALLY MISUNDERSTAND THE VERY NATURE OF MAN.
Seriously, what do prostitutes wear in summer to turn tricks when NORMAL women are going round dressed in this manner? And how can other women claim that it somehow empowers them when what it is actually doing is contributing to men's predilection to objectify them?
I do not think "girl power", nor "I wonder what that young lady thinks of Jacques Derrida's deconstruction of Freud", when I see women in summer wearing bugger all. I don't think anything, because I am too busy staring. Yes, it is hot, but if you're going to put the adorable puppies in the shop window, you have to expect people to go a bit gooey over them.
Men are very stupid and you continually give us too much credit. Which is kinda hard, because I realise you don't give us much as it is. Reel it in a bit more though, OK?
|
|
| HARD. ROCK. HALLELUJAH. |
[27 May 2006|02:08pm] |
|
|
| Good Lordi |
[16 May 2006|10:16am] |
This band MUST win Eurovision.
They are from Finland, and their members have names like 'Amen the unstoppable mummy', 'Enary the manipulative valkyrie', 'Kalma the biker-zombie' and 'Kita the alien manbeast'.
They are... LORDI.
An Orthodox Christian clergyman in Helsinki has denounced them as sacrilegious, and has asked "Lord have mercy on us Finnish people"!
They are the best thing to come out of a country two-thirds of which is covered in forest and only gets sunshine for half the year.
Ridiculous cos-metal and Santa? Holy crap Finland, you're on a roll.
\m/ BRING ROCK BACK TO EUROVISION \m/
|
|
| DEAR INTERNET RADIO DJS |
[13 May 2006|08:44pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Balistik and Venom - Assassin Sounds Vs Dread Recordings rinse part 3 |
] |
Please stop talking over records.
|
|
| How to feel better about your life... |
[13 May 2006|07:23pm] |
|
- Go to http://www.pokemon.com
- They recently did a tournament across America, called, erm, Journey Across America. What you need to do is click on "Winners" on that little sidebar.
- You'll be wanting the option that says "Winner 13 and Over" in each city.
- Just as the objective of Pokémon is to "catch 'em all", you'll be wanting to collect the winner with the highest age in the "13 and over" category.
- Mine was 38.
EDIT: Through looking at Pokémon sites on t'Internet, I appear to have developed a crush on Jessie out of Team Rocket, and in fancying *another* cartoon character, have thereby rendered myself far sadder than the oldest Pokémon champion. Boo.
|
|
| I made a funny. |
[06 May 2006|12:51pm] |
|
|
| Hello. |
[05 May 2006|09:31pm] |
I have not updated in quite some time because:
a) I have exams.
b) My computer* deleted Semagic.
c) I have spent all the time I should have been revising staring vacantly into an area left of my monitor, due some new and interesting pharmaceuticals.
d) I am going to fail my course.
e) All of the above. In the meantime, here is a seasonally pertinent cartoon by Drew. He is ace.
The answer is e).
* I can't think of a reason why it should have.
What I probably mean is that I deleted it without realising.
|
|
| It never gets tired |
[10 Apr 2006|11:34am] |
|
|
| ... |
[01 Apr 2006|03:45pm] |
Verily, a polluted stream is man. One must be a sea, to receive a polluted stream without becoming impure. Lo, I teach you the Superman: he is that sea; in him can your great contempt be submerged. What is the greatest thing ye can experience? It is the hour of great contempt. The hour in which even your happiness becometh loathsome unto you, and so also your reason and virtue. THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA
Friedrich Nietzsche
|
|
| South Park Friends (Work in progress) |
[27 Mar 2006|10:20pm] |
|
( Under Here )
|
|
| Do It Now. |
[27 Mar 2006|07:38am] |
|
|
| This is the bit where you read |
[14 Mar 2006|12:36am] |
Friday. I shall write about what I did Friday, because Bethan came round on Sunday, and asked me what I did on Friday, and I almost forgot. Perhaps I should write things more like a diary, in case the forgetting gets worse.
Just watched a very sad tale on BBC Four about Kenneth Williams. They made it from his diaries. Poor man, such loneliness and repression. What it is to have so much life in front of you and shy away from it in fear. But I understand why he did.
Friday.
Travelled from Bute Bunker to watch a rugby match in Aberdare, getting there via a wing, a prayer, and Hannah's erratic driving (actually not that bad, I just don't like sitting in the back of cars). I ate most of Hannah's Jelly Babies. Which is strange, because I don't like them.
I was supposed to take fee-yo-toes, which was all fine to start with, but then the cold stopped me from functioning. I took one brilliant one, and countless dark and fuzzy ones. Then I turned the flash off, slowed the aperture speed and got a big long streak that looked like a shooting star as the ball flew between the posts for a conversion.
Then I deleted it because the cold made my fingers and brain ignore each other.
I gave up and went to the clubhouse (a fine building with very cheap alcohol) because standing around in weather that is cold enough to kill the homeless is no fun at all.
At the bar I argued with one of a gaggle of valleys girls who worked there (who all seemed to be in various stages of pregnancy) about whether Section 4 or Section 5 of the Public Disturbances Act was "drunk and disorderly". Turns out she was right.
Mind you, I shouldn't have have doubted her, since her reasoning was that she'd "been done loads of times for it in the third year".
Section 5 = "using threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress."
Drunk and disorderly behaviour = section 91 Criminal Justice Act 1967.
Which means that we got it wrong in Hereford, and the old skool night should have been called "Section 91". Although that's not as catchy.
I called my cousin who came down. Despite her tiny size, she drinks faster than me, and was outpacing me in cherry brandys. Not to be outdone, I began drinking faster, and here lay the beginning of the mistake.
Back in Cardiff, Hannah, Hattie (The Duchess), and myself went to 24hr Tesco, where Jack Daniels and Gordon's gin was purchased. Then we went to Gary's house party, where a very drunk and pretty young lady took a shine to yours truly. This was an interesting diversion until I realised how drunk she was. Incoherently drunk.
I drank all of my Jack Daniels, and said something I shouldn't have to someone who didn't deserve it. Increasingly I overestimate my limits, and whilst my alcohol threshold is still pretty heroic by my standards and downright foolhardy by everyone else's, it seems I can't take as much as I used to.
It must be similar to having Tourette's. The one thing you shouldn't say at that moment. Go on. Say it. Saayyyy itttt. Say it. Say it say it say it. Say it.
Oh no, now you've said it. And it was worse than you expected. Because it was the worst thing you could say at that moment. Feel better for saying it? No? Hmm, that's strange.
Still, we made up, and the person I said it to said some things to me that needed to be said. This made me feel even worse, because the things she said made me realise more how clever and brilliant she is. She is clever and brilliant and I am drunk and say silly things.
Sometimes I can convince myself I'm out of the woods, and with the sun on my face I can slay mighty giants. Then I remember I'm still lost in the forest and it's dark. The wood has witches, and other evils.
Everyone else had left or passed out around half five, so I pinched a can of beer that didn't belong to me and went to the nearest park to think about what I'd done, and what was said in the aftermath.
I've been unsure of everything for so long that I'm tired of it. Living in fear and doubt is so very tiring. I don't want to be Kenneth Williams. He fought against it by pretending to be other people, and taking himself altogether too seriously. That's not the answer. That way madness lies.
I must watch Overnight again. And if you haven't, you should watch it too. That entire film is one big warning never to take yourself too seriously.
|
|
| Dydd Gwyl Dewi hapus! |
[01 Mar 2006|07:34pm] |
Perhaps the most well-known story regarding Dewi's life is said to have taken place at the Synod of Llanddewi Brefi. They were to decide whether Dewi was to be Archbishop. A great crowd gathered at the synod, and when Dewi stood up to speak, one of the congregation shouted, 'We won'tbe able to see or hear him!' At that instant the ground rose till everyone could see and hear Dewi. Unsurprisingly, it was decided, very shortly afterwards, that Dewi would be the Archbishop... [More]
|
|
| BOO! |
[01 Mar 2006|07:23pm] |
The Lizard Queen was down the bay today, opening the £67 million National Assembly building. How many schools and hospitals can you buy for £67 million?
I was delighted by this:"In Cardiff Bay, the royal group were greeted by a mixture of music from the Royal Welsh Regiment Band, cheers from hundreds of children and well-wishers, and boos and jeers from a variety of protesters." You could hear the boos on telly as well! I was booing along merrily with them, and made up some alternative words to the "national anthem" (pffffft).
They're not really worth repeating, just slurs and swears in the general direction of the German lizard family.
Serious. Neither that dirge of an anthem, nor that stupid gaudy flag, nor the Moronarchy mean anything to Welsh people (and by that, I'm generalising, and mean "me").
There's nothing wrong with that. The English don't get all gushy over the Ddraig Goch or Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau, and nor should they.
But the Welsh don't go over there and sing it to them expecting Londoners to bow and scrape and tug their forelocks to, erm, some... Welsh... Royals...
Which we haven't had since Llywelyn ap Gruffydd ap Llywelyn died in about 1282.
Anyway. If you can find it, First Minister Rhodri Morgan's speech is worth a listen in its entirety.
The Lizard Queen came on giving it all, "The skill and imagination of those who've designed and constructed this remarkable... zzzzzzz", and then Rhodri gets up and starts making jokes about the Star Trek Enterprise and Caesar getting stabbed.
It was piss funny, not because Morgan is a particularly funny man, but just the incongruity and lack of respeck' for da Queen. Tidy! HRH was amused.
Another highlight was the look on The Rinse of Wales' [sic] face while our national poet Gwyneth Lewis (who was at my graduation ceremony, woo!) read out a poem.
I remember something about walking on a sea made of slate, and not being able to hear. And something about an island of the mind. It was a bit rubbish.
Old Kaiser Philhelm had not a clue what she was on about.
His missus is a bit of a growler though. Jesus.
|
|
| What??? |
[01 Mar 2006|06:06pm] |
The worst thing about being a journalist is that you become a grammar Nazi. This is worse if you spend a lot of time around other journalists/G Nazis, and you make a careless mistake - be it typo, hurried error, or even an intended idiom.
They will point it out with glee to anyone that will listen, as if this is the missing link in their long-held but yet unproven belief that they are the smartest person in the world, and you are the the most abject moron.
I subscribe to the Newsnight email. Today, Gavin Esler used three question marks in a row. For shame.
|
|
| Service guarantees citizenship. |
[18 Feb 2006|07:50pm] |
I have been transcribing my little heart out today. 180min from crackly phone conversations in two days, verbatim. I have more work to be in on Monday than I could ever do.
I took a break and read some things, stupidly thinking that it would cheer me up.
The Pentagon has replaced the "war on terror" with "The Long War". The situation gets more Orwellian by the day, and few people seem to realise it, with even fewer prepared to make a noise. There's a sad, resigned inevitability to it all which is probably the worst part, even before you get to sentences like: Listing a series of ongoing changes being made by the US military to meet “the new strategic environment,” the document includes the following: “From conducting war against nations—to conducting war in countries we are not at war with;” “From responding after a crisis starts (reactive)—to preventive actions so problems do not become crises (proactive);” “From static defense, garrison forces—to mobile, expeditionary operations;” and “From a battle-ready force (peace)—to battle-hardened forces (war).”
I'll repeat that in case you missed it. Conducting war in countries we're not at war with. I think everyone should be made to go out and rent Starship Troopers again and watch it not as a piece of satire, but an increasingly accurate social documentary. It actually makes me want to cry.
I am off to drink beer and laugh and talk of times past. Fuck work. I'll be drafted soon anyway.
|
|
| Telegraph Quotes |
[07 Feb 2006|11:51pm] |
The complained-of cartoons first appeared in October; they have provoked such fury only now. As reported in this newspaper yesterday, it turns out that a group of Danish imams circulated the images to brethren in Muslim countries. When they did so, they included in their package three other, much more offensive cartoons which had not appeared in Jyllands-Posten but were lumped together so that many thought they had.
Philippe Douste-Blazy, the French foreign minister, said: "It is not normal to caricature a whole religion as an extremist or terrorist movement." But the extreme reaction to the cartoons "would suggest the caricaturists were right," he added.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
oranjedoom's journal
